Making friends is something that has always come pretty easily to me. And I've always been okay with the concept that I can't be friends with everyone so sometimes it's okay if I just don't hit it off with someone I meet.
This whole lifestyle is a little bit different. I've made some amazing friends in the community....but it has taken a lot of work. It's required a lot of initiative and intentionality on my part to get the friendships started and to keep them moving forward. There are so many little cultural things that impact relationships here. I'm just not used to it. A lot of times I feel like I'm not wanted or that my attempt at friendship is annoying and I'm just that pesky white girl with that crazy youth organization. That's the lie I've been believing, but the truth is: my friendship is wanted and appreciated...but that appreciation and mutuality in relationships just looks a little bit different here.
Over the last few weeks...I've stepped my game up with being intentional and seeking out time (what very little time we have) to spend with friends and to be present in the community. Now I can honestly say that people who started out the summer as "community contacts" have become friends. The friendships are new and they need work...but they have so much beautiful potential.
The awful....horrible...makes me want to cry part is that I'm leaving in three weeks. I seriously feel like I just got here. Like I showed up a week ago...but I know that these relationships could not have possilby been built in a week. It has taken 6 weeks to build up to this beginning stage of friendship and in 3 weeks...I have to walk away.
They're used to it. This happens every summer and so they have a great attitude that we are friends for the summer and they get to help us become aquainted with the community and hang out....but for me: it hurts a lot. After we spent time with them last night, it really hit me that I'm leaving and I don't want to leave these people who have drastically impacted my time here. I can't even imagine showing up in this community...that is not an easy place to enter...and not having them here. They have made all the difference and when I think of Heart Butte and the Blackfeet Reservation it is them that I will think of.
** The picture is of me and my friend McKenna. She is 5 and was crowned the Blackfeet Tiny Tot Princess this weekend!**
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